Dear Bestfriend JPs and OFWs around the world, there are two (2) kind of unions existing in our world in the name of husband and wife, the arrange and love marriage. Both lives happily ever after whether arrange or love marriage but others live desperately on whatever set-up of marriage that turns to gruesome relationship.
Some couples become successful in trying how to figure-out their relationship in love marriage but in arrange marriage there is a feeling of awkwardness at first instance as the lady is still adjusting to the set-up of their relationship emotionally and psychologically. Although eventually things would be alright then both will enjoy their physical and sexual relationship.
Let’s define arrange and love marriage as to understand both concept, arrange marriage is a marital union where the bride and groom are selected by individuals other than the couple themselves, particularly by family members such as the parents. In some cultures a professional matchmaker may be used to find a spouse for a young person (Wikipedia).
Other cultures or countries have predominant love arrangement based on physical or personality attraction. It is decided as they said as “love” but it is more of admiration and desire for someone that turns to love on the process.
But others live on unrepentant situation whether arrange or love marriage that turns their treatment into irreconcilable situations. These are some of the seven (7) horrible instances that create unsuccessful marriages:
- Communication gap – both husband and wife are not open on anything or both have opposite point of view on everything.
- Financial attributes – tendency on handling money for both parties that create daily arguments.
- Addiction to vices, gadgets and sex – these are three (3) factors that caused marital dispute among husband and wife. Both parties have no time to talk with each other. The tendency is abusing their selves to any addiction whether alcohol, cigarettes, drugs and nowadays gadgets just to forget their anxiety to their partners. Others become womanizers or patrons for wife that drive their relationship into the hole.
- Narcissism (both gender) – husband or wife wants to live with praises, tendency to be ruthless and become sociopath. Has a tendency of not listening to others, manipulative and eccentric. Always blame other people for their own mistakes.
- Deceitful, liar and hypocrites – always want to trick or take advantage with his/ her partner. Has a chronic lying syndrome. Appear always to be spiritual but it is only in the mouth but not in practice.
- Force marriages because of culture – the groom and bride are not yet ready to handle relationship but because the culture accepts that ladies who turning 18 years old or some who started their menstruation must start to have a family and be a wife. It is the same for younger grooms also who are forced to be a father at early age.
- Marital rape – usually this situation happens with older guys who married younger women that instead of romanticizing the relationship tends to brutal quest for sexual satisfaction.
Based on study, countries who have more of arrange marriage has 5% divorce result or lower compared with countries who have love or attraction-based marriages resulted to 35% or higher divorce cases. Both kind of marriages are strong, but this depends on the husband and wife tendencies how they are better in handling their marital issues and disputes in a relationship. Better to leave judgment to you my dear readers, but if you have a better idea then write your comments down below!
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